There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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