That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
