Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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