I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Oh god it's open bar.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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