So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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