i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Will exercising make me less horny?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize