How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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