coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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