I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
