Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
