walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
