Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
