we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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