I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
