I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
