so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Dear god my vagina.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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