Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
