No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
