My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
