? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
