she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
