I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
