Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Duck Duck Cougar?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
