I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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