The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Damn victory sex feels great
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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