yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
