so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Can I color on your dick again?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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