remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
