i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
