It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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