Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
