4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
