K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
