I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
