Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
