i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
