I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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