i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
