The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
