She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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