I could have mohawked her pubes.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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