Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
