I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
