But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
