smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Randomize
