Got a toothbrush?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
