he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
