it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Randomize
