He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
