another moral hangover. fuck.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
