You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We have started to decorate penises.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
