I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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