He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
only you would photoshop your dick
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
