Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
