When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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