Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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