Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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