just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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