oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
