it wasn't lemon gatorade
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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