I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
