I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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