I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
