He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
