Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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