Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
