You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
