my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize