She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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