i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize