Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
